Living with a roommate offers various benefits, like sharing the rent, which makes things cheaper.
However, it comes with some nuisance, like sharing a bathroom.
But the biggest inconvenience is noise.
What Is The Most Polite Way to Ask Your Roommates to Shut Up?
Well, that will depend on the exact situation. For instance, if you are trying to sleep or study and they are being loud, you can say something like, “I’m trying to study or sleep, do you mind lowering your voice.” Or, if they are talking to you when you want to focus on something else, simply inform them that you’re occupied and you’d like to have the conversation later. Be specific with the later and ensure you’re available during that time.
If they are trying to confront you and don’t want to hear it, you should set a time to hold the discussion.
Make sure that the decided time works for both of you.
Lastly, if you need some privacy and quiet to work and your roommate works well with some background chatter, it may be time to look for a different roommate.
How to Tell Your Noisy Roommate to Be Quiet?
Let’s face it, noise can be distracting and frustrating, especially when you want some quietness.
Here is how to approach a noisy roommate about their behavior.
1. Talk About Noise Before You Move in
Boundaries are one of the most overlooked things when moving in with a housemate.
However, both parties must establish them to co-exist peacefully.
But it’s not always possible to discuss your expectations with your roommate before moving in.
Try to bring certain issues like noise with your housemate as soon as possible.
This will prevent the situation from escalating if one person is extremely loud at night.
You can start this conversation by asking each other the qualities they are looking for in their housemate.
If you aren’t a party animal, will you be comfortable living with a person who parties all night?
Do you need to meditate and have at least 30 minutes every day of quiet time?
You need to have an idea of what you’re getting yourself into, prior to moving in together.
While they are hypothetical scenarios, they prepare you on what to expect before any incident happens.
2. Ensure That Your Complaints Are Legit
Believe it or not, your complaints may not always be valid.
Sometimes, they may be selfish. So before starting this conversation, make sure that your complaint is valid.
The best way to ensure this is to ask several external people about the situation. Be as objective as you can when explaining it to them so that you don’t get a biased answer.
If you are living with other roommates, they are the best to talk to about the situation. If anyone else shares the same complaint, it may be valid.
Some valid complaints include making noise when almost everyone is asleep, usually late at night, playing loud music in their rooms when the walls are thin past 11 PM, etc.
3. Bring the Issue at a Neutral Time
Noise is disturbing, and you may want to directly tell your roommate how bothersome they are being there and then.
But, this isn’t the best approach.
We understand that handling things like a mature adult can be confusing. However, it pays off most of the time.
Think about it. You will not be in your most rational state when you are trying to sleep, and your roommate is making noise.
Chances are that you are angry and agitated at this point and might say something that you didn’t mean to.
Going straight to them and telling them to shut up will put them offside.
The aftermath? You’ll have to deal with a hurt and stubborn person that won’t see things from your perspective.
Having a calm discussion, will prevent the issue from escalating; chances are, you will agree.
The point is to keep the conversation as chilled and relaxed as possible because shouting will only make them feel shitty and you guilty.
4. Don’t Involve Other Roommates If It Is Not Necessary
Asking your other housemates to grill the noisy roommate may sound like a good idea.
But it is not.
The person in the wrong will feel you are ganging up on them and may react badly, especially if the noise is from something personal like singing in the shower.
You should also avoid mentioning that you’ve talked to other housemates about the issue, as it will make them feel they are being gossiped about.
5. Always Complain from a Positive Point of View
We love playing the blame game.
While it can be easier to sit down and point fingers at your noisy roommate, you’ll be surprised when they redirect the blame on you for the same.
With this time of conflict, it’s better to approach it positively.
Our tone, words, and approach matter in these kinds of issues.
You need to assure the other person that are trying to work as a team to reach a shared solution.
And quite frankly, that is what roommates’ relationships are all about.
6. Be Willing to Compromise
Lastly, be flexible and ready to compromise.
After all, your roommate isn’t in the same position, office, or schedule as you.
It will take a give-and-take approach between the two of you, but if there is anywhere you can compromise, you should try that.
How Do You Get Rid of an Annoying Roommate Politely?
Sometimes you may try your best to make your roommate tone down their noise with no success.
At this point, you may be thinking about how to get rid of them.
The best solution is to shift to another place for your peace of mind. There is no point in living with annoying roommates. You will only be unhappy and waste your day.
However, if that is not possible, you will have to ignore them until you all get tired of each other. That means ignoring their presence and not showing much interest in their conversations.
Noise disturbances can be extremely frustrating. Worse is if they are coming from your roommate.
In that case, you shouldn’t prolong this issue for too long. Use the above strategies to get them to shut up without upsetting them.
Remember that your peace is important. So if they still won’t change their habits, it may be time to find a new housemate.